On paper Amari and the Night Brothers is right up my alley. I don't much like urban fantasy compared to 'regular' fantasy, but this essentially promised to take place in a different world entirely so that's close enough to get me excited. I love the idea of a hodge-podge of pure fantastical elements mixed into the paranormal. Fantasy tends to be on the opposite side of the spectrum to Paranormal despite the commonalities in the genres. A Black female protagonist is nothing to sneeze at either. What I got was a big bowl of disappointment. Let me start by admitting some of my discontent does stem from reading a similar book - Nevermoor: The Trials of Morrigan Crowe by Jessica Townsend - recently. That book is a five star and a half read. It was an instant favorite. Therefore, certain issues stood in stark relief by comparison. It's hard not to when Nevermoor does almost everything correctly while this book is only doing competently at best. Nevertheless, the problem wasn't just that I happened to read, in my opinion, a superior book with a comparable concept close to this one. I love middle grade fantasy and I absolutely will read the same fundamental idea back to back no problem. I value originality but it's not the most important thing in the world. The book above all else simply needs to entertain me. In fanfiction, there's a type of story involving reader inserts colloquially known as YN (ie your name). It's exactly what it sounds like: the author puts in a catch all character who the reader can project themselves onto. This isn't limited to fanfiction, of course, lots of young adult books have a veritable blank slate function as their protagonist. I bring up fanfiction here because the thing about fanfiction is that since it's an open source for writing you often get stories written by young people who are just starting out. Amari and the Night Brothers was extraordinarily reminiscent of a YN fic to me. I don't mean that Amari and the Night Brothers is bad because it reads like fanfiction. I have read fanfiction better than many published books. I mean that this book merely fits this particular type of fanfiction to a tee. It's written well enough to be readable, it follows a plot relatively fine, the pacing is decent - yet there’s a kind of hollowness underpinning the whole thing due to the author’s inexperience. This isn't guaranteed for every YN fic, however, I'd wager a majority share these characteristics. Alston is only as descriptive as absolutely necessary. There are no interesting metaphors or analogies or any form of language to make the world sparkle. His prose is uniform and lackluster. The same extends to the characters, who are largely non descript. I was unable to immerse myself because it was difficult to imagine anything with such perfunctory explanations. In YN fics this typically stems from the author being young so they don't have a frame of reference for a lot of things. The limited, cursory form of writing reflects the authors' lack of experience. For example, when Amari's mother buys her a phone it's stated to be 'the newest version'. The newest version of what exactly? An iPhone? An Android? It doesn’t matter because Alston has fulfilled his primary directive of establishing a phone has been purchased. It seems small, but the type of phone a person gets is one of those little things that can reveal a lot about a character in a subtle way. Let me break it down: The actual brand of phone her mother buys would tell the reader how much she’s splurged which in turn tells us how much of this is gift versus practicality. If it was a Firefly phone or an old Nokia brick that would fall more on the side of pragmatism. A Firefly specifically would demonstrate this particularly well as it has very limited capabilities compared to smartphones. Given its limitations it could be argued her mother is overprotective. If it was an iPhone 11 - an iPhone 11 vaguely aligns with the timeline - it would be more of a gift. The newer it is the bigger deal it is as it is a tangible representation of how important Amari getting into the summer camp is to her mother. They don’t have much money yet her mother being willing to buy a phone that costs say $500 would show how much her mother loves her; she would pay a lot of money for a popular phone over one that is merely serviceable. This is good for the narrative as it places pressure on Amari to do well as, from her point of view, her mother is investing money they do not have in this opportunity, thus the stakes are raised. Branching off that last point, there is a severe lack of tension or suspense.
Amari never suffers any real setbacks. Going back to my point about YN fics, a large part of YN fics is that everything slides into place with little effort on their part. YN's status as the greatest cannot be challenged too much or else it breaks the immersion. These stories are in essence wish fulfillment. As such very few want to read about YN suffering too much or realistically. YN basically can do whatever YN wants and everybody loves them. People will bend over backwards to accommodate YN, ignoring how strange they may be acting or how little time has passed since they’ve met YN. Those who don’t worship the ground YN walks on are horrible people of little concern. Under these parameters Alston does not have to prove Amari is capable in-text, instead he can merely warp the world around her to force everything in her favor.
As per the synopsis Amari is given an illegal supernatural ability. This, of course, puts the whole Bureau into a tizzy. Lucky for Amari there’s a woman whose supernatural ability is that she can scan someone to read their intentions.
At 24% into the book this shoots her quest to find her brother in the foot at the starting line. Amari blatantly flaunts the fact that she’s at the camp solely to find her brother. This makes absolutely no sense for Amari to do. Why would she tell these higher-ups in a meeting where they’re trying to decide whether or not to wipe her memory that she’s planning on causing problems by sniffing around? She can’t hide it because of the woman who can read intentions, but then the question becomes why would Alston write in an ability like that in the first place? Where is the fun in her sneaking around when her intentions are made so transparent from the get go? I suppose it doesn’t matter either way since she’s allowed to stay at camp regardless.
Following the train of thought, her permission to stay at camp hinges on her being on her best behavior. It is made abundantly clear that people will be watching her. Amari uses her powers uninhibitedly in front of a large group of people twice with no direct consequences. Considering how terrified the Bureau is of her, I’m confused why she was not immediately shipped home. Or at the very least I’m confused why people expressly watching her is a vague threat rather than a concrete obstacle she needs to learn how to avoid.
The Bureau has a man detained who is related to her brothers’ disappearance. Amari does not even think for one second of coming up with a plan to sneak in to see him. Instead she directly ASKS to see him. Obviously, they say no. Only for Alston to, a few paragraphs later, backtrack and arrange it so they suddenly need her to do so. Then she leverages this position to get intel. Thus, she did not have to exert herself whatsoever.
Amari receives a small lead. It requires her to meet a man who is the head of a different part of the Bureau. She just makes an appointment to see him and is prepared to wait a few days. No clever plan to try to see him sooner or force her way in. I don’t care if it’s unsuccessful, I care that she never even tries. What kind of investigator never pursues a lead or bends a rule or two? Especially as a kid who is supposedly frantic to find her brother. The lack of initiative is infuriating.
Amari has to get her phone updated and Elsie sees a private message Amari was keeping secret. Amari immediately caves and tells her about it. Again - and I cannot stress this enough - I don't care if Elsie would know she's lying, what I care about is that Amari doesn't try. Amari expending a modicum of effort rather than essentially relying on luck would do wonders for her character. Going in this direction means leaving absolutely no room for friction to potentially take advantage of for interesting interactions later on.
Without fail, any time Alston could stir up drama or up the ante he actively chooses to smother it before it can spark.
As soon as Amari comes up against a scrape it either swiftly rectifies itself so she doesn’t have to lift a finger or she simply asks. It makes for an utterly uninteresting mystery to solve when there are no clever puzzles or perplexing conundrums or startling twists.
At the start of try-outs the teacher starts calling people out. Her gruff demeanor is to let the kids know this program isn’t any walk in the park. She embarrasses one kid by dressing her down for being a glory hound then moves onto Amari. It’s a decent if not predictable set-up for Amari to stand up for herself in front of everyone to make it clear she has a backbone. It’s fairly normal until the teacher precedes to have a private conversation with her in front of the whole class .
Amari says she lowers her voice so no one else can hear and that would be acceptable if it was one quick line to let her know she is secretly on Amari’s side. But, no she actually gives her a whole speech that I’m expected to believe a class full of kids is going to disregard. Not to mention the fact that a teacher would never stop a class dead like this to have a serious discussion with a kid. If it’s that serious she would have had her stay afterwards to tell her for this exact reason. It could be a long talk and, if this was the real world, potentially detrimental since other kids could hear personal info.
This slides neatly into my YN analogy: the teacher pointedly speaking to Amari in this manner is a totally illogical sequence of events unfolding like it’s completely normal all so YN (Amari) can receive an unnecessary pep talk. YN getting praised is the priority moreso than a realistic depiction of a situation because the purpose, unconsciously or not, is to make the reader feel good about themselves via YN. As such the teacher taking special time to uplift her is presented emotionally first, practically second. The reader is not meant to question how much this stalls the class.
The worldbuilding is poor. There is a vibrant supernatural world at Amari’s fingertips yet we spend the entire time trapped in the Bureau and nearly all of Amari’s contact is with other humans. When she does meet another supernatural creature it’s fleeting. I don’t understand why there aren’t more supernatural creature agents. I find it super hard to believe that a community would allow itself to be governed entirely by a non magical police force.
The universe is how it is because Alston’s writing is primarily based on utility. Amari’s classes sound super cool based on the titles, but we only attend one or two. The rest wouldn’t move the plot along so they’re glossed over. I can count on one hand the amount of contributory characters Amari comes face to face with and all are inchoate because their presence is dictated entirely by how well they can serve the overarching plot.
Her roommate Elsie, a weredragon, is the only non-human she is exposed to for any substantial length of time. Not that this factors into the story at all. Part of Elsie’s arc is that she can’t turn into a dragon for understandable character reasons I don’t want to spoil. But, are there really no cool attributes she could have been given to differentiate her a little bit? Just for fun? She's functionally a human. The only thing that stands out is that she can read moods which I hate due to it being a shortcut to avoid the two characters needing to have real communication.
Alston tries to act as if the two are such close friends, but it’s hard not to be when one of the characters has such a huge advantage. It doesn't allow for the friendship to develop organically. It’s actually a faux intimacy to distract from the fact that Elsie is barely a character. She is little more than an encouraging block of wood for Amari to occasionally lean on. When she talks about her classes - which are completely different from Amari’s since she is on a different track - Alston avoids building the environment so it’s ignored. Unlike Amari, she’s plugged into the supernatural world but again we never go anywhere so this doesn’t mean anything.
There’s even an occasion where Alston seems to forget this. Amari buys a supernatural magazine that she doesn’t know how to open. Elsie is also perplexed. Except that doesn’t make any sense because if Elsie has been raised in this culture she should know how to open a magazine.
Plus, I find it unrealistic that Amari never gets annoyed that Elsie feels comfortable bringing up her emotions before Amari has even parsed them out yet. Elsie might be able to see the emotion but that’s not the same thing as actually interpreting it. Personally, it would worsen some emotions for me to be laid so bare at a moment’s notice. Amari is way too insecure to be vibing like it’s nothing from day one.
The book falls apart at the very end. The root of the big conflict is that Amari’s illegal power makes her a bad person because all the people who had her power that came before her used it for evil. Amari needs to make a big decision that reflects on her feelings about her illegal power.
Amari was apparently proving peoples’ misconceptions about people with her illegal power wrong. However, as I’ve reiterated several times: Amari goes nowhere, does nothing and talks to no one. So how is she showing anyone anything? If Amari is meant to show the populace just by living her best life that would be fine. She doesn’t actually owe the world anything. If the lesson in the end was you can’t make anyone see what they don’t want to, I wouldn’t be complaining. The problem is that that’s not what the goal is. The goal is to inspire others to reconsider their perspective.
Alston makes it very clear that the final battle is supposed to be a culmination of Amari’s endeavors for the duration. Unfortunately, there are only two instances where Amari embodies this idea. She makes a grand gesture as her final test to be admitted into the Bureau as a junior agent. Additionally, there is a strawman introduced right before the final test for Amari to convert to her cause. Note: both of the above events happen after the 70% mark.
The reason why this does not work is two-fold.
First off, Amari's illegal power is related to a serious prejudice in the supernatural world. After it's established that everyone hates her it's left at that - paper thin caricatures who harrumph a lot when showcased but not relevant enough to have an impact. Amari barely explores what her power can do for her or the history behind it. She gets rightfully upset that other people treat her poorly but this doesn't result in a lot of explicit bullying or misbehavior from kids or adults. Most of it is ignoring her unless it's time for specific incidents to segue into the next big event. This hands off approach to her treatment not only undermines the significance of Amari's struggles, it means that Amari has no opportunities to challenge their ignorance.
Second, Amari is a stagnant character. She never lies. She never cuts corners. She never cheats. When the idea of misusing her power comes up she recoils immediately thereby closing the door on it before it begins. She has one minor hiccup that feels manufactured because of how overblown the incident is. Her personal failing is insecurity which would be relatable - and admittedly is understandable given the circ*mstances - if it was not easily fixed through a single conversation with a minor character.
I don't mind a kid that does the right thing all the time. As a former rule following kid myself I love a goodie two shoes more than I probably should. It's just that this type of character has no business being in a story where previously conceived notions need to be challenged if she's too straitlaced to do the challenging. There are so many unjust assumptions and policies regarding her power. It is ridiculous that Amari never once has a crisis of faith in regards to her belief in this world. She never considers turning her back on them. She never stops to think that maybe the system is wrong. She never does her own research into the shadowy past. In short, she never develops her own independent idea of what it means to participate in this society.
Therefore, the decision she has to make is fundamentally flawed because I do not see a difficult choice for two thoroughly explored, tempting factions Amari is torn between. Amari does not falter in her loyalty. The 'bad side' never stands a chance. There is only an argument to be made in favor of the Bureau by default not by design. I was not convinced that Amari's decision was tough for her as there wasn't a solid foundation laid beforehand. It’s not like Alston didn’t try, but his attempts were half-hearted at best.
It's a predictable dispute I’ve seen done well many a time before fumbled in this case by execution. Off the top of my head I can count several books that have a similar concept or themes implemented better than this one - like the aforementioned Nevermoor.
At the conclusion, an underground group involving Amari’s power is introduced as a tease for the next book. I believe this was a huge mistake as it was desperately needed to set the stage in this book.
On a favorable note, I appreciate how Alston made Amari’s race explicitly linked to her feelings of alienation. Being Black often defines your venture into a new space before you’ve even opened your mouth. A mere glance at your skin has already caused you to be written off by a not insignificant number of people. Alston does a decent job of tracing Amari’s isolation in the ordinary outside world to that of the supernatural ostracization. However, I also will say it is usually extremely on the nose.
Debuts can be hit or miss, and this falls further under miss. It’s underdeveloped, it’s boring, and it’s generic. It’s written like one of the better options on Wattpad, but that is not saying much. I don’t need every story to be brand spankin’ new or perfect. What I do need is for this story to be the best version of the story it’s trying to tell - this is not that. I’m not going to write Alston off here because I think he shows some promise. I’ll be reading the next book one way or the other so hopefully I’m not wrong to have faith.
